Thoughts of Anxiety

12.23.07- I'm looking for a partner to run this rotation site with. Anyone up for it? Email me at: ashun_shorti@yahoo.com
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04.20.07- I REALLY need to get this site back and running. -sighs- I need to make a new layout and put up a new rotation. Blah. I wanna just redo the entire site... Really... Blah. Give me like a couple days. I'll do it after my Senior Project is done. Which reminds me... I needa finish it up ASAP cuz I present on MONDAY!! Crap...
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02.11.07- Wow, it's been soooo long since I've blogged here. I've been thinking and I think I'ma redo this whole site. I wanna continue with my rotation but eh... Iono. We'll see. I'ma go do the new layout now. So check back later for it!! =]
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12.03.06- Gezez, I really do need to update and stuff more. Ok, well I'm done with CA college apps and SATS and ACTS are done with for good now. All I have left are scholarships and NY colleges. So I guess that won't be SO bad... Right? -sighs- I'll update soon enough.
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11.26.06- Ai ya. I NEED to make a new layout. I know, I know.. I wanna redesign the whole site while I'm at it. Plus I need to put up a new rotation. -sighs- Well College apps are due this week (30th) and SATS are this Saturday. Not to mention a whole load of projects for my AP classes. I'll get to this site prolly by tonight hopefully. =]
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10.29.06- I haven't blogged for a while but for a good reason. I did my ACTS and SATS and a whole lotta college stuff. I'll be making a new rotation and layout later on today. =]
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10.07.06- Whoa, it's been over a month since I've blogged here and changed the rotation! I feel really bad but my senior year is being tough on me. Although I have 4 classes, 3 are AP, plus extra curricular activities, college apps, SATS, ACTS, projects... It's all loading up to be a lot of stuff to do everyday. I got a little sick too, but I'm fine now. -whew- I'm going to try to put a new layout up soon. Plus either let someone adopt the Junior Davis fanlisting or something. I don't think I have any time for fanlistings anymore. -sighs- I wish I did. There needs to be more hours in the day.
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09.04.06- NEW MUSIC ROTATION!!! These past couple of weeks have been really hecktic. -sighs- I feel so overwhelmed with college and stuff. I need to get a lot of scholarships and see if I can still qualify for financial aid. Not to mention I'm not even close to finishing off moving 3 fanlistings from here. It's like AH! My mom gives me the silent treatment when I try to talk to her about college, and my dad is rarely home. My dad is really cool about it tho; so it's nice to talk to him. Finished hanging up my clothes and I cleaned my room a bit. When I'm stressed or pissed I usually clean. Wierd. I feel like watching some Alias episodes today. I still have to clean out my bookbag, wash & style my hair for tomorrow, plan my first outfit, paint my nails, get batteries for my camera, maybe refill my gas tank... -shrugs- I'm so nervous this isn't even funny. Ah, damn college is gonna give me an ulsur... I'm so stressing over college apps. Not to mention SATS and ACTS are in a month! 40 days til my SATS (or so collegeboard says). Been getting a lot of applications and information to the colleges I want to go to. In a way it's nice and at the same time it just plain stresses me out. Maybe I should go for a drive today- to just clear my mind.
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08.23.06- So far this week has been ok. NOT the BEST BEST but alright =] I'm content with it. Today was link crew training and it was... Sortta fun. Met more Seniors&Juniors. Tomorrow is Senior Orientation! It's gonna be the LAST high school orientation I'ma go to! So sad... Anyways, I'm addicted to Laguna Beach now! Not to mention Project Runway is on tonight too! Went to Hallmark and got a card. Mailed another letter to Andy. Picked up and dropped off Catherine today too! Totally awesomeness. Back to reality to go study for SATS/ACTS! =]
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08.14.06- Well, the past few days have been stressful and hecktic. I didn't like them at all cept for driving and talking with Andy and Catherine. Other than that, everything was total BS! Today I got my very own checking account at the bank! I'm so happy! =] Plus, Andy got the package I sent him finally. -whew- Let's see... I want to get the AT LAST CD SOOOO badly! Which reminds me, I better finish up my fanlistings soon! Tomorrow I might go to Hollywood Video and rent Scary Movie 4 and drive and get some chicken =] Ah, we'll see. I really do write&sing way too much! I need to get crackin' on my summer reading! I only have 3 weeks to finish up!! Oh, and the new music rotation will be up soon, PROMISE!!!
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08.10.06- Gosh damn, my stupid internet is failing me! I can't get my fanlistings done cuz of that stupid modem. I called Comcast today and so they said it might be my modem. My dad sayd he'll buy me a new one tomorrow. He has to since my computer is the one that sends out all the signals for him and my sister's laptop internet to go thru. Hah. Anyways, this week has been pretty damn awesome. My spirits have been uplifted.
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08.04.06- This day so far has been totally AWESOME!!! Woke up around 10:30ish, and I didn't know but I turned my alarm off... So my sister was taking a shower and the running water woke me up. Then, went online for a bit. Went out with my sister and grandma to eat at Long John Silver's and then we went to Arden Fair. My grandma ended up buying these really pretty Saphire earrings. We went home and I was anxiously waiting for my NEW CELL PHONE to arrive. Got around 4ish and I told my dad I wanted to know where it was because it had been almost 5 days. So he was calling up sprint when our doorbell and telephone rang! Got the door and my phone came! Ran back inside to answer the phone, but it was a wrong number. I love my new phone to death! Yesterday someone hacked into my Junior Davis Fanlisting and that really pissed me off. But, thanks to Angie everything is all good again. I had to re-enter ALL my contact numbers but I love how I can text message without having to go thru the web on my phone now! It's awesome! Plus I got some free ringers from: 3gforfree.com so it was crazy fun! Tomorrow I'm playing tennis with Wai, Nick and Catherine. I might go to the studios tomorrow to take pictures if I have time too! Below is my phone. So sexy! Almost as sexy as my car<3. Gonna call Andy later tonight and maybe text Janny if she's not online. What can I say, I <3 my phone! Oh, and my phone is Cherry Blossom Pink, it's not as pink as the one below!

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08.01.06- Today was really good until the night time. Right now I'm really feeling bitchy and mad... This morning someone called me on my cell phone and asked me for someone that wasn't even here. She kept breaking up so I just hung up. Then I talked to a couple people before I left for Starbucks. Then I drove to my mom's school and helped her get her room ready for tomorrow. She's a teacher so her first day with her new class is tomorrow. Then I drove to some asian places near SF Market and tried to find a present for Andy. Ended up getting myself a really cute hair clip. MIGHT play tennis Saturday. Hope so... I'm still hurting like hell, but I'm an "extreme player". Hah, so true. So, what got me pissed was talking to someone. Gosh, I hate talking to this person. I've gone almost half a week not talking to him... ARGH! No more tho! I hope someone can cheer me up. Usually talking to Andy or Janny helps. Calling Catherine too haha. Saturday I'm going to go back to the studio to take more pics. I hope my phone comes this week! =] It's so hott! I can't wait to show yall! This is wierd, but now I am better. Thanks for always making me smile Andy. Iono if you'll read this but ya... lol. I'm fo sho gonna get you a good present now!
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07.31.06- -sighs- I'm seriously not in a good mood. Yesterday was BAD LUCK! I dropped my trunk of my car on my left wrist, pulled my calf muscle playing tennis, got bruises on my arm because of the tennis racket and my legs are so sore I can't stand it! My wisdom teeth are coming in so it's really painful to eat. I'm getting a NEW phone! It's a Sanyo Katana in pink. I also got my dad's RSX 2003's muffler on my 2004 Civic! Hella nice! Chromed! Hah! Tomorrow shall be tiring too... Working at my mom's school. Below is a catchy ass song. So listen to it.

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07.29.06- Today was supposed to be the BIG DAY! But it ended up in ashes... Like it always does. Well, I have to admit that Janny, Catherine and Sally did make my day WAY better! I was really stupid though... I always let my heart get broken. I took a lot of pictures near my car, and I would post them but photobucket isn't working. =\ So far I drank almost 2 bottles of apple cider because I am so down. Tomorrow morning I'm supposed to play tennis with Wai & Nick and I think Queena and Catherine? -sighs- I'm not up to it. But I'll go... To release my anger. I'm so torn inside. I want something I can't have and it hurts. Thank goodness for good friends tho. Sally and Janny played tennis with me today and saw some guys that went to our school. Then Janny treated us to Starbucks =] I still feel down, but what can I say? Tomorrow shall be good for me, emotionally and physically!
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07.27.06- I've been catching up with a lot of people lately and it's been nice =] Saturday is the BIG day to show everyone my Senior Pictures!!! I have to take all the proofs back in a week, so yeah =] Gotta show everyone while I still have them all. -sighs- My life has been going pretty smoothly for about a week now. Talking to someone makes it all better. Fo sho! I got my hair highlighted yesterday! My mom did them. It came out nice. In the sunlight it's really brown! =] Below is a music video that makes me reminsce... About all the good times in my life. I really treasure those memories. Sorry for all the people who don't get it! Hah. But oh well to yall! =] Can't wait til SATURDAY!!!

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07.24.06- Yesterday I woke up early to play tennis with Wai, Nick and Catherine at JFK. It was pretty fun =] Got a little tan. Then went home and showered and we all ate at Sherri's. Came home and my body started to ache so I listened and sang some music for almost an hour and a half. Fell asleep for an hour. My grandma came over for dinner and we had one of my favorites: Baby Back Ribs! So goooood! Today I took my Senior Pictures!!! They came out nice =] I want to have a lil gathering so my friends could check them out. My body really HURTS! I'm not kidding. Even getting up and down... Bending down to pick stuff up... Putting on my clothes! Gez, it's so painful... I'm going to take a shower. But even that hurts... -sighs- Off to relax. My wrist and arms hurt too =\
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07.21.06- Today has beeen pretty awesome so far! =] Woke up at 9:40ish and went with my mom to Ulta in Laguna. I'm going to highlight my hair after my senior pictures! =] Probably next week! I can't wait! -sighs- I'm really tired. I'm a BIG At Last fan! Tomorrow I'm probably going to watch a movie with Nick and Sunday I'm playing tennis at JFK with Wai! =] Monday is my Senior Pictures! Ah Cha! So much! At 1-2ish I'm going to go and rent the movie and pick up some pictures I uploaded to Rite Aid. Enjoy the video below. I <3 At Last!

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07.19.06- Today was pretty tiring. Woke up at 9:45ish and drove my mom to Laguna to A+ Report Card and then we went into Hallmark. Can you believe they already have their Christmas ordaments out already? Well they do! Then we went to In and Out Burger. Then I drove to Borders and ended up buying Brave New World by: Aldous Huxley and The Rescue by: Nicolas Sparks. I'm just trying to get through 1984 by: George Orwell! -sighs- So tomorrow, I thought there was going to be a James Stewart Marathon on TCM but they changed their schedule! I need to read! I only have a month and a half to finish 4 books! Tonight I might go watch Running Scared starring Paul Walker. I made my Senior Portrait appointment! I'm so nervous! I hope my hair doesn't go crazy or something. Oh yeah, and August 24 is Senior Orientation from 9-11AM! I just noticed there are a lot of James's I admire. James Stewart... James Franco... James Civic... Okay okay, James Civic is my car... But c'mon that's a sexy name! =]
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07.17.06- So far today is okay. Had some really wierd dreams... I was running late and my mom wrote my a note that said, "Pam it's all your fault that we missed the party." Or something like that. And I got mad. Then I had another dream that Zac Efferon was sitting beside me and he told me he went to Burbank High School. Crazy... Catherine texted messaged me and woke me up at like 12:30ish. Then I went to Holleywood Video to drop off Annapolis. It was okay. Mostly boxing. Makes me wanna box... =] James Franco is sexy! Haha. Below are the shoes I got from Macy's on Saturday. Pretty aren't they? This Saturday I might go rent a movie. I ended up buying Running Scared with Paul Walker, Memiors of a Geisha with Ziyi Zhang and Fun With Dick and Jane with Jim Carey. So tonight I might just watch one of them. My tummy really hurts. I spent like half an hour outside and it was lovely. Mang, it was really humid but the slight breeze was nice. I was on the patio in the shade and looking at the sky. I miss doing that. I think I shall do that again tomorrow =]

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07.15.06- Today was exhausting and great! My mom and I went to see The Devil Wears Prada and then we went to Nordstrom's Rack. I tried on some black dresses, and there was this really cute one, but where would I wear it? To the grocery store? I think NOT! So I ended up getting just a dark jean skirt. After that we went to Arden and spent about half an hour looking for a parking space! It was so FULL! We went to Macys and I ended up getting some black high heels there for a birthday dinner. Then, I recieved this "buy $15 worth, get up to $12.50 lotion free) from Bath and Body Works. So my hallway closet is stocked with gifts! Haha. My friend Janny got her iPOD! I'm so happy for her. =] We might go shopping next weekend, but I'm not sure if I can handle 2 weeks of shopping in a row. It really depends on what's happening with family and how much I do during the week itself. I'm scared to be in traffic alone... Especially in Arden Fair traffic! Gosh... Psychos... I went to Elk Grove yesterday and their drivers are the WORST ever! They go 60MPH on the main road. Cutting me off too... This vitamin lotion I got for free at Bath and Body Works is totally worth it. Haha. It's making me sleepy... It's "Calm". I'm blogging a lot today. Surftp doesn't seem to be working so I'm justing ftplive and it rocks so far! I can't wait to get in bed! My body is totally worn out. Maybe I'll visit someone next week... Bleh... Too tired to think now. Night =]
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07.14.06- Today was quite fun =] Slept at 2:30AM instead of the usual 3-4AM lol. Woke up at 11PM cuz I had this wierd dream... It's yeah. Anyways, Nick brought over some YUMMY pie at 1:20ish and then my mom and I went to Khols at around 3. There was a sale so I ended up buying this really cute red-ish polo and pajama bottoms. Plus this cute silver purse which was like $7.20. Not bad =] So tomorrow my mom and I are going to see The Devil Wears Prada and then shop. I want to seriously get a job asap, cuz I'm sooo extremely bored at home! =\ The 22nd I might go shopping with Janny! Yayness. I feel much more free lately. The heartache has diminished. I've been eating too many cherries lol.
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07.11.06- Well today was quite boring. I added some stuff in the Me section. Just some favorites and stuff =] Thursday I'm getting my haircut. I can't wait! My mom wants me to get my senior picture done this summer. So yeah... I might go to Staples tomorrow and try to "re-apply" there because I think I did it wrong at home. I'm singing WAY TOO MUCH! Well, I don't even think that is a law or anything but I think I am. I mean, I should be doing something else with my time. I started writing again =]] Every morning I tell myself "Hakuna Matata". I'm wondering if I'm going through my life in "la la land". I need to seriously wake up and smell the coffee. I have to face the fact that I AM ALONE and that is that. I'm not going to go back running to my "safety blanket" just because things are hard at first. My heart will hurt and my chest will ache... But there is no one that can do anything to change that except me.

^The haircut I want =]
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07.09.06- Yesterday was the picnic and it was absolutely fun. There ended up being a lot of food left over. Plus, my interent was down when everyone was over so that was a bummer. Anyways... There's a lot on my mind now... I mean, I want to get a job now. Mainly cuz I'm so damn bored at home and don't know what else to do. My summer seems really endless. I should appreciate that but after a month of being off, I'm just... restless. I miss the good ol' days when things were carefree. I'm trying to sort out my expectations in life too. I have no idea what they are! Iono if I even know who I am. But I know that I want to just... believe.
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07.05.06- NEW LAYOUT! I think it's very LOVELY indeedy! Took me like over an hour to put it on the site! I have nothing to do anyways... Yesterday I went to Laguna and went to Border's to get some books. I ended up getting: 1984 By: George Orwell and Sark's Journal and Playbook: A Place To Dream While Awake. I love the SARK BOOK. It's an absolutely wonderful book and I reccommend it to all! =] Wierdly, it makes me feel better inside. Saturday is the BIG DAY! WOO HOO! Still gotta go get the stuff. =]

^^Lovin' those moves! =]
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07.01.06- Today was exhausting! -sighs- Well, I slept around 3AM since I couldn't sleep too well and then someone called the house at 10:30ish for my mom so that woke me up. Then I drove my mom to Rite Aid, Capital Nursery and Home Depot. I bought some purple eyeliner, and this moouse eyeshadow. Very cool =] Below is a song that I love and expresses how I truely feel. If he wants to call me BREEZY... Psh so immature. But that's another reason why I'm not with him anymore and I'm glad I'm not with him! I think I'm breaking free!

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